She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
