we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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