So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
