so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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