This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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