i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
worst night to have a conscience
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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