I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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