And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
