hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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