Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
The adults are the big ones right?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
