He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
