and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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