I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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