shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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