Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
