cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
