I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize