I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
