just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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