I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
