We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize