Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
