She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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