I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
