so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
