i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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