im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Its about making memories worth repressing
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
