Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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