The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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