I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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