I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
