i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
