Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize