Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
