What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
