all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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