just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
