So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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