Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
