i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
