who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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