I think scott just propositioned me for sex
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
