Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
