margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
