if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
