is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
