Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
