when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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