Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
