Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
