it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
