So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
