He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
