He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
