nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
