uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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