If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
