What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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