Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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