if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
