clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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