woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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