Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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