So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
