I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
